Where did the day go?
Confusion.
Where to go?
What to do?
Confused.
I don’t know!
Loud noises!
Loud noises everywhere.
But, don’t worry. Not in my head.
Just everywhere else.
Please won’t you quiet down!
I need to think!
Absolute lunatics!
Please, Just be quiet!
Communication.
Causes problems.
Or lack of communication.
Causes problems.
The lack of understanding.
I Can’t Talk.
I Can’t Speak.
I Can’t Understand You!
What are you saying?
Inability to express my needs and thoughts.
In Spain now.
I cannot communicate better than a 3 year old.
It is frustrating.
Extremely frustrating.
Causes hatred.
Frustration.
Fear.
Rage.
Just today, I bought a leaky water.
No big issue, but I have no way to explain it.
Blah!
Wah!
WaaAAAAA!
Like a pouty three year old.
I point, yell and shout.
I am not yet to the point of crying.
But who knows, maybe I should just start crying?
That might shake things up.
Cry it out!
Let the emotions out.
Cry it out!
I just need to CRY!
and SHOUT!
So, do you want to talk about it?
Oh dear Coffee….
How I missed you!
A morning fast yesterday.
Doctor appointment.
Blood work needed.
“Come on an empty stomach” They said.
So no coffee yesterday.
And how angry I was!
Taking away my precious!
My precious coffee!
How I need thee!
Coffee!
How good is Coffee!
I get my coffee today!
But, now I have to pee.
Freedom.
I have a dream.
I have a dream that one day I can wear a Hawaiian shirt without prejudice.
I have a dream to live free.
I have a dream.
Free to stand out.
Free to blend in.
Free to LIVE!
Worried.
Always Worried.
Why?
I just need sleep.
Or food.
Want to write.
Can’t.
Self-imposed pressure.
Why?
Who cares?
I have to go to work.
Screw work.
I need to get a walk in first.
Ok.
Be back.
Doubt.
Fear.
Doubt.
Fear.
Doubt.
Fear.
But mostly FEAR.
Why?
I don’t even know.
No one even cares.
Everyone is worried about themselves.
All of their Cares and Their Worries.
Why worry when they are not worried about it or even me?
Is that defeatism?
Maybe.
But, it is freeing.
If I let it be.
Yes!
That’s it…
Let it be.
Let it be.
Just Let it be.
Why is it so hard to just let it be?
Fantasy.
Planning a Trip.
Looking ahead.
Looking back.
Never here.
Never like RIGHT HERE.
What if?
Regrets.
What if?
What if I did this?
What if I did that?
I miss this.
I miss that.
I miss her.
What if?
What if I did this?
What if I did that?
Instead.
Instead.
Instead.
Too many What ifs.
Too many Instead.
Just live life now.
Angry.
Tired.
Hot.
Pissed off.
So, Tell me something new?
What are YOU going to do about it?
I can only change ME.
Everyone else is still a prick.
But at least I can change me!
So What?
Sitting around.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Always Waiting.
Waiting for someone.
Waiting for something.
Just always waiting.
Well, I am Done Waiting.
Time to LIVE MY LIFE!
