Getting fed up.

Been tolerating too much BS lately.

I am not a doormat!

I need to make a change.

A drastic change?

Maybe!

Change it up!

But how?

With a STORM!

But, a Storm causes damage.

And, requires a cleanup.

But, a Storm does create change.

Is it the change I want?

I don’t know.

But I do know after the clean up it is calm.

The calm after the Storm!

Is the cleanup worth the Storm?

Is the change worth the Storm?

I don’t know.

But I need some change.

And sometimes change only comes after a Storm.

So here we GO!

It is time to cause a STORM!

Brewing.
Stewing.
Steeping.

Waiting.
Alone.
Waiting.
Isolated.

In my head.

Thoughts.

Thoughts in my head.

Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.

Too much thinking.

Too many thoughts.

Yeah, that’s the problem.
Too much thinking.
And too many thoughts!

Been doing too much thinking.

Maybe I should go talk to someone?

Bashing my head against a wall.

Resentful.
Angry.
Pissed off.

And now I am bashing my head against a wall.
Well, not literally.

Just encountering the same learning experiences.

Over and over.
Over and over.

Until I change.

Or until I learn the lesson.

Time to learn and change.

Otherwise this wall is going to concuss me.

Sitting around for weeks.

On a training trip.

But going slow.

Waiting and wanting to work.

Today is the day we get notice.

Text message from work colleague.

Or really, my overseas boss.

“Are you available?”

Bam!  There it is!

Here it goes!

Time to do work.

Been sitting around doing nothing for weeks.

Now it is time.

Careful what you wish for.

Because it might actually happen!

Where did the day go?

Confusion.

Where to go?
What to do?

Confused.

I don’t know!

Loud noises!
Loud noises everywhere.

But, don’t worry.  Not in my head.
Just everywhere else.

Please won’t you quiet down!

I need to think!

Absolute lunatics!

Please, Just be quiet!

Communication.
Causes problems.

Or lack of communication.
Causes problems.

The lack of understanding.

I Can’t Talk.
I Can’t Speak.
I Can’t Understand You!
What are you saying?

Inability to express my needs and thoughts.

In Spain now.
I cannot communicate better than a 3 year old.

It is frustrating.
Extremely frustrating.
Causes hatred.
Frustration.
Fear.
Rage.

Just today, I bought a leaky water.
No big issue, but I have no way to explain it.

Blah!
Wah!
WaaAAAAA!

Like a pouty three year old.
I point, yell and shout.
I am not yet to the point of crying.
But who knows, maybe I should just start crying?

That might shake things up.

Cry it out!
Let the emotions out.
Cry it out!
I just need to CRY!
and SHOUT!

So, do you want to talk about it?

Oh dear Coffee….

How I missed you!

A morning fast yesterday.

Doctor appointment.

Blood work needed.

“Come on an empty stomach” They said.

So no coffee yesterday.

And how angry I was!

Taking away my precious!

My precious coffee!

How I need thee!

Coffee!

How good is Coffee!

I get my coffee today!

But, now I have to pee.

Freedom.

I have a dream.

I have a dream that one day I can wear a Hawaiian shirt without prejudice.

I have a dream to live free.

I have a dream.

Free to stand out.

Free to blend in.

Free to LIVE!

Worried.

Always Worried.

Why?

I just need sleep.

Or food.

Want to write.
Can’t.
Self-imposed pressure.
Why?
Who cares?

I have to go to work.
Screw work.
I need to get a walk in first.
Ok.
Be back.