Done. or Don’t.

 

Done.
Don’t.

Two simple, short words.

Made a typo today.

Not too far away on the keyboard.  But two completely different words.

Done and Dont  (Don’t).

Typed don’t instead of done.  And autocorrect added the apostrophe.

But Done and Don’t are not that far away.  Easy mistake the ‘T’ is only separated from the ‘E’ on the keyboard by one letter.  The ‘R.’

All this doesn’t even matter.

Other than the response of “Done” to a question is different than “Don’t.”

And what does all this matter?

Nothing.
Nothing at all.

Other than a simple typo got me thinking about how two different words affect behaviors and actions.

But then again I don’t have the knowledge of all that.  It is something I don’t know, understand or even have the authority to comment on.

Done.

Self Doubt.

Self-doubt.
Fear.

Self-doubt.
Fear.

Self-doubt.
Fear.

Self-doubt.
Fear.

Mainly Self-Doubt.

I want to write something amazing.
To change the world!
Attention grabbing!
Something to go VIRAL!
To change the world!
Get my 15 minutes of FAME!

Lol.
Crazy thoughts!
Absolute lunacy!
Insane.
Just CRAZY!

Too much fear to let that happen!
What would I even do if that did happen?
Probably run and hide and be scared.

So, I will be content with writing the mundane.

And writing the boring.

And having Self-Doubt.

Am I enough?

 

Frustrations.
Resentments.
Envy.
Jealousy.

Envy.
Jealousy.

Why?
Why?
Why?

Why is everyone getting ahead?

Scrolling through this.
Scrolling through that.

Scrolling through this.
Scrolling through that.

Everyone else is getting ahead.

Everyone else is doing something better.

Well, why not me?

Why am I not good enough?

Comparing to others.

Why am I not getting ahead?

Why am I stuck?

Just stuck.

Am I comfortable with who I am?

I don’t know.

But I am tired of looking at others.

Time to focus on me.

Time to turn off this crap.

I have what I need.

I am Enough.

Yes, that is it.

I am Enough.

And so are you.

You are Enough.

Avoidance.

I need to write.

I want to write something AMAZING
Something to CHANGE the WORLD.
That is EGO talking there!
But I am just one man.
What can I even do?
But am I really even a MAN?
This is not a political statement.
Nothing to do with Gender or Pronouns.
But more of a question of how to LIVE?
What is a MAN?
Too much to even think about at this time.
I think I will just go hide.

And

Avoid.

Blind Spots.

I don’t know what I don’t know.

Recently told I am awkward.

I have blind spots.

Blind spots in my behavior.

Told I was weird.

Well, ok…  Thanks?

But that is just who I am!

Now what?

How to change?

Behaviors are so ingrained.

I don’t even notice.

Change happens little by little.

I am attached with who I am.

So it is hard to change.

Two steps forward.

One step back.

I just have to try.

Just try.

Just try.

It will be ok.

It will all be ok.

Be comfortable with who you are!

Rejection.

 

Went on a double date.
It went ok.
Open to seeing her again.

Asked her out.
She said no.
But, she said it nicer than that.
Actually quite honest and nice.

But it still hurts.

Rejection.

Rejection hurts.

Fine!! I did not want to talk to you anyway!

At least I tried.
Back to page one.
Blank slate.

Time to get back at it.

Who wants to grab a coffee?
Maybe it should be something more exciting for a first date…

Who wants to go to the strip club?